Hmm. I never was good at keeping journals. I would always quit after about a month. There is only so many times you can write what you did at school before things start to get repetitive. Only so many times that you can confess your love for someone to a few sheets a paper which the afore mentioned someone will never see, which often just ends up being for the best.

When it is in school, especially Elementary/ Middle schol and in some cases Highschool it is completely pointless and not actually love. If that sentence confused you in the least it=Love, real Love, not the idea of Love but actual Love. The kinda Love that makes a person do the strangest things. I do believe that there is someone out there for most people, someone that they can truely Love and be with for a long time. However, I believe there can be more the one someone for people, the genetic lottery just sort of gives good odds towards that possibility. I also believe that, that/those other person/s arn't necesairly going to be of the same sex or even interesting in a sexual relation ship. I guess what I am saying is that your life partner doesn't have to be a Life long lover.

There are many people that have had best friends for most of their lives. The type of friend that you've known since you were a kid and will still keep in touch with when you are over the hill and well on your way towards becoming food for some plants and worms. The type of friend that you know you can trust to watch your back even if you decide to do something extremely stupid, Liiike saying trying to take over the world. Haha right? But how many people do you know that you can honestly say will help you out of a jam no matter what? I'll venture a guess that that is a very small number for most people.

And yes, I know I am speaking in an odd way, lots of yous and Is, lots of opinions that won't particularly make sense to anyone other than myself. Doesn't really make to much sense to me either and most likely if I ever take a look at this journal entry again I will not have a clue as to what I was thinking when I was wrote this. And this is not ment to be a paper or a memoir up for a nobel prize. It is only ment to be a lil peek into what was on my mind at 10pm. Enjoy it, question it, do what ever you like really.

For myself I've come to a conclusion on what the meaning of life is. It is not a large complex metaphysical answer, it is quite the contrary and rather simple. Want to know what it is? The answer to the ulitmate question. It is simply to live. Nothing more and nothing less. Just to live. How you decide to live is up to the individual. Personally I'm still trying to figure that part out. How do I want to live my life? Comfortably I suppose. Maybe something simple and complicated at the same time. Do I just want to be content or do I want to strive for more?

Looking at ones life in retrospect when you are still at a young age isn't the best thing to do, especially when your ideas of what could be are so very vast. It leads to something akin to a mid life crisis. I haven't accomplished anything of being noteworthy in my 21 years of existance. I've simply lived. Living life with my own set of morals and my own ideals, my own beliefs.. Thats the fun part I suppose beliefs.

Believe what you want.. All I ask in that general area is that you question your beliefs. Make sure that those beliefs are truely your own and not just something that has been ingrained into you by your surroundings and those who occupy it. I don't remember exactly what comedian said it but it was something I had to agree with, "Religion is just a fight over who has the better imaginary friend." You cannot say everyone in a religion believes in the same great higher being/s, everyone will have a different idea of what that higher being is like, though there may be many similarities between them. Almost becomes a sort of idol warship. Why should it be up to a priest or clergymen to forgive you and purge you of your sins? Shouldn't it all be up to the big guy/girl/thing upstairs that gets to judge a person? How can someone accept that "God" has a plan and say that someone died because it was their time to go, and then turn around and say that someone can die before their time? Seems a bit contradictory. And if you accept that God has a plan, then that brings up the possibility that murderers are simply doing "God's" will and should actually be considered heros. Thats what the crusades were, what war is. It was accepted murder. But trying to convince someone of that is difficult if not impossible.. There are those who just wont hear another side of things.

I consider myself one of those. I will hold stubornly onto my ideas beliefs, what I think are facts until the very end when I'm given enough information that changes my mind. How is this for another thought? Probably even heard it before. What people accept as the truth can be the truth to them even if it isn't the truth for everyone else.. For them it is the truth. If someone was told while they were a kid that the sky was red, then to them the sky is red, pure and simple. For them the fact, the truth, is that the sky is red. For me it seems a general fact that most people anymore do not seem to have any common sense what so ever. Bordering on sheer stupidity..

Oh well, life will be life, whether the world comes metaphoricaly crashing down. Nothing like change to scare people into attempting to stop it. By now I doubt anyone is still reading this, if you are you are most likely crazy. If you arn't you might be righting something scathing about the things I've written since that seems to be a common trend with many people. The trend that they seem to hunt down something that is insulting to them so that they can insult it.. Or something like that... ehehe... Stupid colds always causing havoc with the body.

Good afternoon, good evening or good night..